Many women complain that men do not pop the question. If you see two or three women who are not very young, have no doubt they will definitely discuss their family issues or their absence. If women are not married, this conversation will be exactly about men. Why are men so indecisive?
Why some men do not want to get married?
Many men grow up with thoughts that it is better to have marital relations. You need to find a stable job, get stronger psychologically, and understand your own feelings. There can be many reasons; but, life without obligations to one woman is the main one. The pros of this life are obvious: a man can have different sexual partners (by using free cougar dating app ); he doesn’t need to divide property, if he decides to part; and, he does not owe anything to anyone. Freedom is what men appreciate most. We are not talking about a case where a man has a woman and a child; but, he has not decided yet to marry this woman.
What do experts say?
American experts have also decided to study this issue. Dr. Helen Smith, a US-based expert on domestic violence reveals the reasons of the changing male behavior, in today’s feminized society. She believes that the reason lies not in laziness and stupidity; but rather, in the logical and rational thinking inherent in men. For them, modern marriage, study and work bring them more harm than benefits.
• Reason number 1. A married man loses the respect of his peers. Only a few generations ago, marriage was like an initiation rite, an indicator of entry into adulthood. Marriage enhanced man’s prestige. He became the head of a small team and received a small, but stable power. In the meantime, he had to be responsible for himself, his wife, and offspring. Today, on the contrary, the marriage lowers the man, down a step, in the social hierarchy. He does not receive any power in the family; therefore, he can not bear responsibilities. That is why, fathers are exposed to be clowns and idiots in the mass culture.
• Reason number 2. A married man doesn’t have sex diversity. The change in moral standards, over the last century, has made sex much more accessible. Today, a single man can change partners as often as he wants. The variety of sexual life depends only on himself and his desire. After marriage, a man is forced to abandon polygamy; and his sex life, completely depends on his wife’s desires and mood.
• Reason number 3. A married man risks losing his children and money. More and more men notice that marriage has ceased to be a lifelong thing. Many have a friend who has managed to get married and soon has divorced. In most cases, the court is on the mother’s side. There are approximately 90% of judgments in the USA, according to which kids remain with the mother, after the parents’ divorce. What is more, he has to pay alimony, which is a tangible part of his income.
• Reason number 4. A married man loses his living space. Bachelors have the whole house or apartment at their disposal. The man freely chooses where to eat, sleep and have fun. After marriage and the birth of children, the man is evicted to the most uncomfortable parts of the house – the garage, the basement or the attic, etc. under the pretext of caring for the wife and the offspring. The unpleasant thing, isn’t it?
• Reason number 5. A married man risks losing his freedom. Today, both men and women can file for divorce. For reasons beyond the control of the man, court, in the majority of cases, keep the children with mothers. Also, men are obliged to pay alimony for many years. If a man does not have the opportunity to pay, he can be brought to justice and get in prison. In US prisons, there are about 50 thousand people convicted for non-payment of alimony, while only 4% of these people are women.
How do women push the men to the right decision?
From everything you read so far, do not conclude that men are such selfish creatures. Men can take care of their women. They can protect them and take responsibility. What can make a man act? How can a man decide that, now is the best time to propose to his woman?
The answer lies on the surface. You just need to look at men more carefully. You will easily find a rational grain in their actions. For example, men pay their car loans on time, because they do not want to lose their means of transportation. Men arrive at work on time in order not to be punished. They head to their usual hairdresser, not to fall into the hands of another who would mess up their hair. Men do certain things very neatly. They do not want to suffer negative consequences. If a woman wants her partner to propose to her, she should push him to it. A man must understand that there is a best time to go for it. Otherwise, he risks to lose his beloved because of his passiveness.
A man must realize that, because of his woman, he achieves success in life. A woman gives him great love, helps him to deal with difficult situations and their consequences. A man becomes better and wiser when his woman is with him.
Psychologists distinguish several situations when men have the desire to marry a woman:
- possibility to realize sexual desire at any time;
- the desire to control a woman;
- fear that a woman chooses another partner;
Men’s thoughts that can lead to marriage:
- it’s so bad without her and when she is near it’s calm and good;
- when she laughs, the whole world stops;
- she knows how to organize life like no one;
- such women cannot be given to anyone.
Imagine how absurd a man’s life is, if there were no women in their lives. A beloved woman is not a burden; she is a gift that you can get, if you do the right thing.